I tip toed through the field, not knowing if there were tiny creatures underfoot, like chickens, rabbits, or even my cat. Maybe the Jains have a point. The higher vantage made me appreciate that life is still life no matter how small or seemingly invisible. I had the tractor in hand. It looked just as a toy vehicle should in my palm; even the weight seemed to feel about right. It didn’t take many paces to get to the gate at the edge of the forest that had given away just how out of wack my world was. That same gate that my grandmother and I had unlatched and walked through countless times when I was barely as tall as the highest post- we’d look for fairies and magic dragons. The posts now looked like matchsticks lined up in those promotional books of matches you don’t see much of nowadays. Of course I couldn’t fit through the gate. I paused right there, peering down at the forest and wishing to reverse the magic my grandma had made me believe.
179* words inspired by Jane Dougherty’s Microfiction Challenge #5. It is also a part 2 to this story, although I hope it can stand on its own.
*Shaved off 4 words with an edit following Jane’s comment about repeated reference to ‘hand’.
Like it! it makes me think of Alice. It’s so refreshing to discover how weird other people’s imaginations are 🙂
Two things: the repetition of ‘my hand’ ; and I’d find another way to bring in the importance of the gate since carrying a tractor in your hand seems like a pretty good indication that the world has gone completely crazy. A tiny gate is rather insignificant compared to that image.
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Thanks Jane! So glad you liked it. I really appreciate your feedback too, as always. I’ll revise double hand later and you’re spot on about making the gate more signigicant as I had wanted it to symbolise a portal into a magical world. Maybe the gate was ajar and some magic leaked to the other side?
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The magic could be visible, especially to someone who has been magicked. I like that idea of the magic leaking through, it might look like a river.
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Yes, you’re right, and you should know with those worm holes you’ve created! Hmm a river. Maybe a sticky, viscous river that leaves a film of magic on whatever it touches…
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Depends how you feel about magic. Quicksilver would be more my idea. But that’s my idea 🙂
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Haha yeah what I said sounds kinda gross and menacing. But I was going for something that takes a hold whether the recipient is ready or not.
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Rivers with hands? Tentacles? Now that’s really gross 🙂
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It’s all very tantalizing…(K)
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Thanks Kerfe. Written with you and your little brother in mind 🙂
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I think he may have found that portal a few times…that may explain his continuing lateness for dinner as a child.
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Made me think of Gulliver’s Travels – I think it stands well enough on its own – I like the way the reader is immediately in the scene with no blurb – just there – wham! brilliant!
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Thanks so much Freya, glad you liked it. With such a tight word limit, can’t afford a blurb! Thanks gir the feedback 😊
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Lovely imagery and yes, the gate does look like a matchbook which I actually haven’t seen in a long time. I wonder why…
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Thanks Marissa! Well what would most people do with them now? The market has narrowed…
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Why? Because people don’t smoke as much?
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Yeah that’s what i figured. Now you’re more likely to get a complementary USB or a promotional code to download something for free or something.
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I suppose so!
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I like this one Mek! I can see everything you’ve described, even if there were no image.
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Thanks Kathy, glad you like it 😊
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