
The carriage was full, travelers standing with shoulders, backpacks and elbows pressed, a carnival of scarves and beanies as the game-attending crowd created jostling hues of their allegiances.
With the approach of their stop, the ebb and flow of chatter reached a crescendo of deafening laughter and chanting, morphing the game crowd into a single organism, leaving Elise feeling even more alone on what was for her a milestone journey.
Replaying the moment in nightmares and obsessive thoughts of waking hours, she hadn’t imagined the station being a welcome sight, but with the crowd’s departure, there was momentary relief in tears no longer forced back by a levee of laughing eyes, blurring the tracks and trees like rain streaking the window, her sobbing gasps filling the void they’d left as the train crawled past the spot marked by cellophane and ribbons of a bouquet long gone.
Inspired by Sonya’s Three Line Tales, Week 18
Very good writing
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Thanks Derrick- that means a lot, as I struggled with this prompt, and though the backstory isn’t the same, I was channeling how I felt in a similar train experience- that deep sense of isolation when there is a disconnect between your emotions and that of everyone around you.
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I kinda figured you’d used some personal experience here.
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Thanks Kathy- really glad it came through in the writing 🙂 I’m learning that you don’t have to necessarily write a true to life account to add authenticity, emotions can be common across a range of experiences.
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Alone in a crowd…I think we’ve all experienced that. (K)
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‘….jostling hues of their allegiances.’ … A very vivid description! Great 3 lines!
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Thanks 😊
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You really captured the moment well. Poor Elsie!
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Thanks Marissa! 😊
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I liked the description, the imagery, of the game-attending crowd. And the grief and loneliness.
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Thanks Sandy, much appreciated 😊
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Amazing! I could clearly picture the scenes in my mind’s eye thanks to the sheer detail of the three lines! Vivid and beautiful!
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Thanks so much Sonali. Appreciate the feedback and glad you enjoyed it 🙂
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I feel for Elise. Very touching story. Great three lines.
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Thanks Vashti. Yes, poor Elise, but seems she is taking an important step in her journey with this train ride. So glad you were moved by the story 🙂
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Great piece!! I pray you are well💕
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Thanks e 🙂 Nice to see you! I’m well, thanks. How are you? Miss your posts xx
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