They stand close, swaying in the wind, one with branches that extend out a little more widely than the other. The thinner of the two seems to be heralding autumn a lot earlier than the other, its yellow leaves outnumbering the green. I see these poplar trees everyday, but I don’t always pay attention. When I do, as I am now, I imagine the delicate leaves being just like butterflies, light and aerodynamic, fluttering in an un-choreographed dance. Paying attention also brings back memories of that day, just over a year ago, when Delphin sprinted out the front door, across the verandah and down the terraced garden to the pair of poplars, finding the perfect spot to bask in the sunshine on that warm March afternoon- our first weekend here, a time we had all looked forward to for so long. Curled up in the sunny spot, in the stillness and silence of the country- the kind of silence that is quite loud in fact, when you pay attention, with chirping frogs, leaves rustling, and tall blades of grass swooshing in unison as birdsong carries through the valley. When I pay attention now, to those trees, I see them standing tall, a guard of honour for the resting place of Delphin, who lived till 23 and had a burst of life that March afternoon before saying goodbye.
Prompt from Writing 101, Day 8 Death to Adverbs. Today’s Prompt: Go to a local café, park, or public place and write a piece inspired by something you see. Get detailed: leave no nuance behind. Today’s twist: write an adverb-free post.
I loved the theme here of paying attention. One thing I wondered – rather than telling us that you imagine the leaves as butterflies you could just use the metaphor/simile: ‘the delicate leaves were like butterflies’ or ‘the butterfly leaves were…’ Or ‘the leaves were butterflies’. But I get that might not have been what you were trying to do.
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Thank you for taking the time to read my post and give me feedback, I really appreciate it.
I can see how showing and not telling as you suggest could have made that bit a little less clunky and forced, but I really can’t decide between the way I have written it and your suggested alternative, as I was also trying to convey my thought process when I pay attention and don’t mindlessly walk past those trees as I tend to normally do.
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